I have never wrote an ode before, but I thought I would try it. Any feedback is appreciated because I'm definitely not a poet =) I am not really sure if I should include punctuation??
"Josh"
True happiness you provide
You give me hope
You give me encouragement
When we are together,
No one else exists
You allow me to share my thoughts and feelings
You let me be myself
You are my other half,
My better half.
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First, to answer your question, I think you should include punctuation. As I was rereading this, I came across the idea that maybe you should make it more structured with the repetitious 'You' that you begin a lot of your lines with. Such as, for every one line, you follow with two lines that begin with 'You.' (Which you have already done with the first three lines of your poem.) Then the fourth line could be a combination of the two lines you already have
ReplyDeleteThe true happiness you provide.
You give me hope.
You give me encouragement.
Together, no one else exists.
You ...
You ...
Etc. Etc. Etc.
But I most definitely suggest not changing your last two lines at all. I feel like the way you ended your poem was strong, and also my favorite part.
I think you did a great job for the most part, I would with the previous comment. If each line of the poem began with "you" I think it would make the reader feel your feelings more.
ReplyDeleteAnd many people could relate to this feeling if its not a boyfriend it could be another loved one. As I read this poem visions of memories with my husband ran through my head. :)
Very nice- I enjoyed it.
Josh sounds pretty amazing, so much so that since it is an ode to him, maybe incorporate some of his looks or traits.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on having someone so special!
Great poem. I agree with the above comment, maybe some physical characteristics added to the poem would give the reader a better visual. Nice job! And congrats!
ReplyDeleteAwesome ode. I love it. I wish you both the best.
ReplyDeleteEsther from Nigeria